And so, little by little, with fluctations which I cannot now trace, I became an apostate, dropping my faith with no sense of loss but with the greatest relief.
–C. S. Lewis Surprised By Joy
Lewis, as a former atheist himself, understood something about that particular belief system* that many life-long Christians completely fail to grasp: for many people, atheism feels good. Converting provides instant and complete relief from the massive weight of what it means to be a believer, not only in Christianity but in any of the major world religions. All of them make claims on your life. All of them require that you conform yourself, your beliefs, and your actions to a set of standards that you have no control over. Atheism instantly releases you from all those obligations and, in fact, does so much more: It makes you the sovereign of your own little universe. That can potentially provide an unparalleled sense of temporary security. After all, who better to trust with your future than yourself?
This also helps explain why many atheists are so loudly sure of themselves to the point of epistemological absurdity–emotion often sits at the center of their position while their reason provides cover. Lewis was one of these types. He came to hate the forced prayers and unjustified legalism of what he had been taught about the Christian faith, and so when atheism presented itself, his emotions led him to grasp at it in intellectual desperation.
Lewis later rejected atheism–though he had to be dragged “kicking and screaming” back into belief. For Lewis it was simply a issue of truth: he still believed that there was an external world that he must conform to rather than vice versa. Through his association with J. R. R. Tolkien and Owen Barfield, he was gradually led to accept proofs that Christianity was true, and therefore he changed his mind a result.
For me, there is another issue that speaks against atheism: knowledge of myself. While it sounds like a fine thing to be the sovereign of my own destiny, the more I understand about myself and how little I truly know, the less comfortable I am exercising the kinds of power atheism in theory would grant me over others. I become even less pleased when I think about others having that kind of absolute authority over myself. I would think that the Twentieth Century–and the bloodbath than certain atheists like Stalin and Mao made of it–bears out that concern.
That is one reason I am thankful that God created humanity able to both think and to believe. Properly understood, the strength of each keeps the excess of the other in check. In Lewis, we see a good example of both.
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*While atheism likes to style itself as a “lack of belief,” it is in fact its own separate religion. Modern atheism puts faith in what Lewis would later call the “Total System,” by which he meant the whole of the natural universe and the measurable phenomena which it produces. Since humanity is the ultimate expression of the intelligent side of the Total System, atheism usually (but not always) begins to treat the human race and its needs with an attitude that borders on mysticism. This faith is often as blind as it is exclusive, and is also couched in a pseudo religious awe–remember, according to modern atheist thinkers “Forget Jesus. Stars died so that you might live.” In that sense, I see no particular difference between the basic fundamentals of atheistic belief and the “religions” they claim to critique. Of course, this is too big a topic for a footnote!
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Mere Lewis 
Well said.